Holidays

I thought about my dad a lot today.  It’s been two years since he passed away, and I miss him.  He sure as shit wasn’t perfect, but he was a good man.  A good role model for life.  Give all that you can, help those who need it, and love with your whole heart.  My father embodied the spirit of christmas, all year ’round.

Halifax has been what I needed it to be. Granted, there are times where I feel like it hasn’t met expectations – but I think my expectations were misguided and rooted in a lingering sense of loneliness.  It’s been a relatively freeing experience here, and that’s exactly what I needed.  As the saying goes – you can’t always get what you want, but you get what you need.

Yes, that’s right. I needed this.  I needed all of it.  I needed to let go of what was holding me back and forge forward.

Someone recently called me brave.  And while my instinct was to argue against it, I have come to realize that I am brave.  I have survived a lot of shit.  Everyone here keeps telling me my life is full of great adventures and crazy stories.  They are right.  And lord above, it’s true.  For the most part, with a few minor mishaps, I have been brave.  I guess that’s why they call me exceptional.

My dad knew how brave I was.  I would like to think that he was proud that I had the bravery to face things he couldn’t.

And at the end of the day, that’s why I am here.  I am going to be a writer.  Something my dad would have loved to do, but never had the balls to try.  He would have been a good writer, too.

Merry Christmas,

/J